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mixmasterk576

[ website | Kyle's Site ]
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[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Run Home Jack [04 Feb 2006|11:29pm]
[ mood | numb ]

Oh weirdness. I <3 you so much. i also love reflectiveness and regret and being ashamed and just myself in general. wtf am i doing?
so i think im done now. i really do think im done. i needed alot of time to work all this shit out, but i think its over. i have officially let go. no more distraction or hate or jealousy or overprotectiveness, ive let you go. whether you've noticed or not, ive been hanging on. ive been hoping to salvage any last shred of joy that came out of knowing you but i think its just a lost cause. i know you read this sometimes. so i just wanted to say thank you. you've taught me more about life than anyone. i dont regret a second of it.

-Kyle

cross my heart

Yeap, thank god for the internet [18 Dec 2005|12:56pm]
it gives me the chance to be melodramatic and emo and blah blah blah blah

lets think of some new insult to throw in my face shall we. the emo things getting old.

im sick of this shit. you arent worth it.
1 so cross my heart

dead [15 Dec 2005|09:27pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

The phone slips from a loose grip
Words were missed then, some apology
I didn’t want to tell you this
No, it’s just some guy she's been hanging out with
I don’t know, the past couple weeks I guess
Well, thank you and hang up the phone
Let the funeral start
Hear the casket close
Let’s pin split-black ribbon to your overcoat
Well, laughter pours from under doors
In this house, I don’t understand that sound no more
It seems artificial, like a T.V. set

Well, haligh, haligh, a lie, haligh
This weight it must be satisfied
You offer only one reply
You know not what you do
But you tear and tear your hair from roots
From that same head you have twice removed now
A lock of hair you said would prove
Our love would never die
Well ha ha ha

I remember everything
The words we spoke on freezing South Street
And all those mornings watching you get ready for school
You combed your hair inside that mirror
The one you painted blue and glued with jewelry tears
Something about those bright colors
would always make you feel better
But now we speak with ruined tongues
And the words we say aren’t meant for anyone
It’s just a mumbled sentence to a passing acquaintance
But there was once you

You said you hate my suffering
And you understood
And you’d take care of me
You'd always be there
Well where are you now?

Haligh, haligh, a lie, haligh
The plans were never finalized
But left to hang like yarn and twine
Dangling before my eyes
As you tear and tear your hair from roots
From that same head you have twice removed now
A lock of hair you said would prove
Our love would never die

And I sing and sing of awful things
The pleasure that my sadness brings
As my fingers press onto the strings
In yet another clumsy chord
Haligh, haligh, an awful lie
This weight will now be satisfied
I'm gonna give you only one reply
I know not who I am

But I talk in the mirror
To the stranger that appears
Our conversations are circles
Always one sided
Nothing is clear

Except we keep coming back
To this meaning that I lack
He says the choices were given
Now you must live them
Or just not live
But do you want that?

cross my heart

[14 Dec 2005|10:07pm]
I've had some pretty godawful things happen to me in my life. Ive had my share of troubles, ive cried my share of tears and ive spilt my share of blood. and up until today its all been worth it. i havent given anyone the satisfaction of getting to me. But congratulations darling, becuase with one flick of a finger you broke my defenses. this really really really hurts. and i know that nothing could compare to the hurt i made you feel and no words could ever fix anything between us. but i have gone out of my way to stay out of your way. ive only tried to be friendly, not a friend, friendly.
Behind my fucking back, while i was looking away
I only caught a glimpse
but it told our whole story

The candles you gave me are melted to the wick and time has run out on you
There's always a peice of you in me and you cant take that away
but whatever is left is far from the person I thought you were

No bad blood, no unspoken hate, no middle fingers behind your back
Nothing at all
My favorite Mistake
Nothing at all
Just keep living until you die.
1 so cross my heart

When Broken is Easily Fixed [11 Sep 2005|12:18am]
[ mood | crappy ]

I HATE HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA AND IMMATURITY!!!!

ATTENTION EVERYONE!
GROW THE FUCK UP!!!!

What's wrong with everyone? its senior year. this is the endgame. there is nothing more after this. dont you all just want to have fun? am i the only one that wants to reconnect? Come may, game over. and ill have the biggest smile of all.

maybe this is all coming from listening to too much sunny day real estate, but i miss everyone, and everything. but i have to accept the fact that they dont miss me.


bands to listen to right now
Bayside
Brand New
Bright Eyes
Chiodos
Dispatch
Glassjaw
My broken Promise
Panic! at the Disco
Paramore
Sunnyday Real Estate
Secret Lives of the Stonemasons
Silverstein
Scary Kids Scaring Kids
Between the Buried and Me
Dillinger Escape Plan
THE RECEIVING END OF SIRENS



goodbye

3 so cross my heart

[01 Aug 2005|08:55pm]
[ mood | calm ]

7 Different Places You'd Like To Live:
Ireland
Paris
St. Thomas
New york
Boylston St.
New Zealand
Tokyo


7 Amazing Things:
Acoustic Guitars
backflips
boyscouts
my band
boobies
concerts
guitar solos

7 things you don't like:
rejection
ignorance
people who have no faith in me
people who run from me
lies and the lying liars who tell them
my skinniness
my height


7 Things You Miss About Your Childhood:
Innocence
my neighborhood friends
st. francis
being small
christmas morning
my first guitar
my first cd

7 Movies you like:
Super Troopers
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
camp nowhere
heavyweights
anchorman
dodgeball
old school


7 things you are:
poet
liar
fun at times
musical
creative
tall
skinny

7 TV shows you like:
Family Guy
Simpsons
West Wing
American Dad
Rescue Me
Nip/Tuck
Entourage

7 Favorite Musical People/Groups:
Scary Kids Scaring Kids
Senses Fail
Funeral For a Friend
Dispatch
Bleed the Dream
Glassjaw
Secret Lives of Stonemasons

7 Favorite Random things that have a special place in your heart:
sophmore semi
2005 ICYM retreat
april vacation
5/14/05
"words without thoughts"
camp
sinead


Six Things You Want to Do before you die:
Play in a kickass band and tour
write/direct a movie
write/direct a play
produce a cd
write a book
live in paris
teach



7 Jobs You'd like to have:
teacher
director
musician
producer
camp director
guidance counsellor
pirate



7 Things You Might Not Know About Me:
I have a stuffed panda
I'm sadder than people think i am
I'm an asshole
Im a boyscout
i love god
im a pothead
i play in a band


7 foods I really, really like:
Chicken Parm
fried shrimp
onion rings
chicken wingdings
quesadeas
crunch wraps
steak tip subs


7 Biggest Fears:
being alone
spiders
loss of creativity
there is no god
hell
dogs
razors




7 things I'd like to see launched into space...
Me
Dashboard confessional
winy emo kids
ryan cabrera
nick cannon
bush
jill


7 Places you want to be right now:
Prince Edward Island with sinead
hampton beach with sinead
paris wih sinead
new zealand with sinead
ireland with sinead
anywhere
with sinead


7 things you'd like to change about people:
ignorance
impatience
faith
musical taste
how they see me
their mind about things
people in general


7 favorite books:
perks of being a wallflower
breakfast of champions
welcome to the monkey house
black coffee blues
the rum diaries
heavier than heaven
cut

7 people who Inspire you:
CJ
Matt
My brothers
Jim Carrey
Norbert Leo Butz
Heinegg
john frusiante
matt davies

1 so cross my heart

[31 Jul 2005|10:53pm]
[ mood | high ]

u know what the cure to teen depression is? about a half ounce and a good dispatch cd. nothing is sweeter. my troubles are fucking gone right now. fuck lonliness. another 2 weeks and ill have sinead back and it will be wonderful. until then ill just enjoy myself. ill write and read and fucking rock out. i wrote a new song called the edge of all reason. maybe a good solo song, idk yet. god i love dispatch. i suggest u listen to them. in an altered state of mind if need be. but they're good either way. o man, well im off to rock out. catch yall lata

2 so cross my heart

And Will You Tell All Your Friends....... [31 Jul 2005|04:29pm]
[ mood | emo ]

ahh man. today is officially nostalgia day. i had nothing better to do so i listened to old school tbs and FFAF and i cleaned my room and threw away my memories. noone is around. im so fucking lonely. and i dont care how emo that sounds because its true. i just wish one person picked up the phone today and called. but my friends are only my freinds when its convinient to them i guess.

today would be the first day of camp. its the first time in 11 years i havent gone. it makes me so sad.

i miss sinead. it just had to be said. i miss her more than anything else thats abandoned me this summer.

i saw hamlet last night. that didnt help the whole depression thing. but i was with my brother and my sister and steve and it was a pretty chill night. i think the next couple weeks are all gonna be pretty chill nights. hampton coming up soon and such.

o well, ill see u guys later, or not.

peace,
kyle

cross my heart

[25 Jul 2005|10:39pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Last person who...

1. Slept in your bed: just me

2. Saw you cry: sinead

3. Made you cry: my friends

4. You went to the movies with: The Pirate Gang

5. You went to the mall with: Sinead

6. One thing you could take back: no regrets

Have You Ever...

1. Said "I Love You" and meant it: Yes

2. Got in a fight with your pet: ill win one eventually ::shakes fist::

3. Been to California: no

4. Been to Mexico: No.

5. Been to China: No.

6. Been to Canada: yes

7. Been to Europe: mmmhmm

8. Danced naked: yeap

9. Wish you were the opposite sex: ewwww....menstration

Random...

1. Do you have a crush on someone: no

2. What book are you reading now: On The Road/Catch 22

3. Worst feeling in the world: feeling left out

4. Future KIDS names:Kyen, Piper, Finn

5. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: PANDA!!!!

6. What's under your bed: The Boogeyman

7. Favorite sport to watch: Midget Tossing

8. Location: My Room

9. Piercings/Tattoos: 2/ none

10. Do you drink: ive been known to toss back a few

11. What are you most scared of: the impossible

12. Where do you want to get married: a chapel on the cape

13. Who do you really hate: people who cant accept that i can change



14. Do you have a job: Nihan/ Sayre Represent

15. Do you like being around people: i love people

16. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: yes, but it all worked out :)

17. Have you ever cried: lol.....no....never ::shifty eyes::......::whipes tears::

18. Are you lonely right now: yes and no, im missing people

19. Song that's stuck in your head a lot: fucking fall out boy, those cock suckers

Have You Ever....

1. Been in love: yes

2. Played strip poker: :)
3. Gotten beaten up: nope

4. Done an all nighter: yes

5. Been on radio/tv: no

6. Been in a mosh-pit: yes \m/

7. Do you have any gay/lesbian friends: mmhmm

8. Skinny dipped: hells yeah

In the last 24 Hours have you...

1. Cried: lol alot
2. Bought something: food

3. Gotten sick: yes

4. Sang: mhmm

5. Been kissed: yes!!!

6. Had sex: no

7. Felt stupid: yes......f u dan lol

8. Talked to an ex:-------------------

9. Missed someone: sure

10. Hugged someone: yes

cross my heart

[20 Jul 2005|11:14pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

ok, so heres the deal. am i pissed about things that have been said and done? yes. do i feel like shit because of it? yes. do i hate anyone for it? no. the worst thing i can do is hate people for having a feeling about something. my door is always open to anyone who wants to patch things up. in fact, i encourage it. so for those of you who think you're ready, call. i have a good feeling about the last couple days. idk, ive been in a good place and i think alot of positive things are coming my way.

but in the words of the great Don Henly:

Don Henley The Heart Of The Matter lyrics
Don Henley The Heart Of The Matter lyrics

Don Henley lyrics

Don Henley The Heart Of The Matter lyrics




Don Henley The Heart Of The Matter lyrics Don Henley The Heart Of The Matter lyrics


I got the call today
That I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old, true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you'd found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
and the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
and beg for something more?
I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
I've been tryin' to get down
to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about...forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
Ah...these times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
and people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age?
Ah...the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things - we kill I guess...
Ohh pride and competition
cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us
you know it doesn't keep me warm
I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
And the more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I'd figured out
I have to learn again
I've been trying to get down
to the heart of the matter
But everything changes
and my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about...forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if, you don't love me anymore
There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you baby; cause' life goes on
If you keep carryin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside, baby
I've been trying to get down
to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me
I've been tryin' to get down
to the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak
and the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if, you don't love me...
Forgiveness (yeah)
Forgiveness (baby)
Forgiveness (ohh)
Forgiveness (ahh yeaaahhh)
Forgiveness (ohh)
Forgiveness
Even if, you don't love me anymore...

cross my heart

Some people just dont get it [16 Jul 2005|11:17pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

well, here we go again. another rousing game of act like a 2 year old. it would be funny if u knew what people really thought about you. but i guess thinking isnt one of your stronger abilities. i just dont understand why you have to be such a child. yeah, ok, ill be the first to admit that i deserve some shit, ok? ill admit that. but not from some random person whos looking for an excuse to get one person to like her. im done with being a punching bag for your anger problems.

i love sinead. more than myself, more than my family, more than all those people who pretended to care about me for so long. the mistakes i made in the past have made me more aware of what i have to do. ive given myself to her fully. i could never do that with anyone else because i knew id want it back. but i dont regret a single moment with her and i dont want a moment of any of the time we've had back. she makes me want to live my life, not end it. i dont feel an ounce of sadness around her. when we're apart, i feel empty, and i start to reminice. but she always comes back and makes me whole again. ive never had this with anyone.

who are you to tell me this is wrong? who are you of all people to make me feel guilty about the best thing ive ever felt? what gives you the right to fuck everything up with your words and accusations? why cant you say your bullshit to my face. why cant you look me in the eye and say you wouldnt have done the same thing. why do you bring your friends down?

what i wouldnt give to go back in time and erase you from my life. what i wouldnt give to go back in time and make the choice i should have made.

and i do blame myself. i blame myself for fooling myself into believing i was satisfied. i blame myself for getting to attached to the wrong people.
but i can never blame myself for making a mistake and i dont owe a single apology. let me be the first to say im sorry, just one more of my million lies ive told you.

you dont deserve my time in writing this. you really dont. ive forgotten what you were like, if u were ever really like it, before you turned into what you are now.

this time the jokes on you. this time im laughing all the way into her arms. i dont give a shit about your anger or your fucking overdramatics. im happy, im in love, im better off.

becuase in the end, all you have is bitterness, anger, and resentment, and i still have my friends, my happiness, my love, and my life. theres no better feeling in the world than the one i have right now knowing that tomorrow ill see her and ill hold her and ill kiss her and we will be totally and completly in love and theres not a fucking thing you can say or do or pray for or mutter under your breath or post on your fucking live journal that will make me think otherwise.

the easiest way to say it is "fuck you"

but ive never been one to take the easy way out of things and i like fighting battles i cant lose.

so have a great summer. and realize now that because of you, ive lost all desire to fix things in the least bit. you can blame yourself for all this.

all my love,
kyle

2 so cross my heart

a-z bands [08 Jul 2005|01:00pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

a. A Thorn for Every Heart
b. Brand New
c. Chimera
d. Dropkick Murphy's
e. Early November
f. Funeral for a Friend
g. Glassjaw
h. Hawthorne Heights
i. Incubus
J. Juliana Theory
k. Killswitch Engage
l. Leadbelly
m. My Chemical Romance
n. Nirvana
o. opiate for the masses
p. Primus
q. Queens of the Stonage
r. Reeve Oliver
s. Scary Kids Scaring Kids
t. Taking Back Sunday
u. Underoath
v. Valiant Thor
w. Weezer
x. XnecromantiX
y. Yesterday's Rising
z. Zao

cross my heart

The Edge of All Reason [07 Jul 2005|03:59pm]
[ mood | high ]

Hi, Hi, Hiya! whats up g-slice? oh me? nothing much. my summer has been surprisingly awesome so far. ive had less panic attacks lol. but at least their about different stuff than what they used to be.
ive been expanding my horizons alot. ive read some new and different books and ive started listening to some new music. ive just felt like uninspired recently and im looking for something new than just the norm. im happy to say that my band Since When is looking pretty freakin awesome. and we're gonna rock everyone's socks.

but yeah, fun week. harvard square was awesome. pizza, newbury comics, found the Wrap! and 4th of july in boston. omg. it was a great night. the best of the summer so far. the was the aquarium and the solar panels and the 7-11 and just awesomeness everywhere u looked.

ive been spending like all my time with sinead. she makes me so happy. she is my sunshine, my only sunshine lol. i just fall apart whenever i look at her. im soooo in love with my shay shay.

me and chris need to hang out. like, desperately. i miss him. but, i digress.

ive discovered some really awesome bands and i suggest that u all listen to them.

1.The Matches
2. Reeve Oliver
3. NearMiss
4. Funeral For A Friend
5. Bleed the Dream
6. Opiate For the Masses
7. Isis
8. Sparta
9. No Motiv
10. Scary Kids Scaring Kids
11. A Thorn for Every Heart
12. Emery
13. Further Seems Forever
14. Glassjaw
15. Halifax
16. I Can Make a Mess Like Nobody's Buisness
17. the Impossibles


bands to avaoid this summer

1. Finch
2. Weezer
3. Billy Corgan
4. Fall Out Boy
5. A Static Lullaby

5 so cross my heart

[02 Jul 2005|11:40am]
[ mood | holy question marks batman! ]

hey hey hey. long time no....write? idk. lol well the life of kyle davis is one big whirl of emotion as always. ive got so much like random stress and issues that seem to come and go in like a matter of minutes but while they're there i just wanna like punch through a brick wall or something. i dont even know what i get upset about anymore. i mean like my life is going fine as far as im concerned. i have alot of really good things all around me that are keeping me in check but, idk, its like missing something. and i just cant like figure out what. i read a book that put everything into perspetive for me and helped me realize like the pointless nature of teenage depression. its called the perks of being a wallflower. sinead let me borrow it. its like one of those books where i just sat down and put my bright eyes cd on and read it and everything was just like perfect. i drew alot of inspiration from it on some new songs ive written. yeah ive been doing that alot too. the whole writing thing. alot of really sad emo music lol. im really pissed becuase i wanna start like being a real songwriter and like write about something different than ex-girlfriends and slit wrists. but i guess u write what you know and i know a thing or two about both of them. apparently ashley has a new bf :) which is really good. i hope a really good summer for her will mean a better fall for everyone. o yeah p.s. my band, since when, needs a bassist like bad lol so if anyone knows anybody...lol

o man yesterday was cool. me mb shay and ceej went to say goodbye to gabe cuz he was goin to france. then mb went home so me cj and sinead hiked to sineads house and sat around while we waited for melanie to pick her up for babysitting. once she left me and cj went to go meet shawn. of course, when we saw shawn he had to be funny lol and pretended like he was goin sit in a car in a dude's driveway. but then this guy who was like a skinny don vito was all like "what are u guys doin to that car! I'll call the police remmanemma" so we left and like this little short midget red headed irish cop like pulled up and like took down our names and everything but he was all cool about it unlike all the other cops who have taken down my name lol. but for like 10 mins he didnt believe that shawns last name was smith. lol it was awesome. then we met up with mike v and isaac at the library. we went to the shell, dogshit, frisbee, old chinese food, ice grass, then beer bottle tossing. it was fun. then it was off to colleens for cj's bagel. we saw katie. lol still not sure if she hates me but w/e. then we went to the mcglynn. mike left, cj shawn and isaac were awesome, i sat and listened to hurt by NIN for like an hour. then we went to shaw's, i went home. called sinead. took a shower. she called me, much talking. lol its like 3 straight nights of 2 hour conversations on the phone. lol then i went to sleep and woke up at 6 in the morning. pretty good day overall. so in closing. peace out bitches

KAGE

KaB 4 lyf

cross my heart

Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them [23 Jun 2005|09:25pm]
[ mood | happy ]

i guess people are always asking me like how im dealing with all this bullshit. well, for one, ive got an awesome girl who keeps me going. second, all my friends are sticking by me (even the ones who someone says hate my, isnt that weird). third, everyone seems to have the same opinion as me and that is mind ur own buisness. there is just really such awesomeness surrounding me right now that its completely like taking over the stupidness people create. like, im not even angry cuz i know that none of what their saying matters becuase i obviously still have friends, i dont feel bad about sinead in the least bit, and i can laugh about all this. the following people must be thanked for being so awesome and sticking by me:
CJ
Shawn
Sinead
Joe Brock
Peter
Mary beth
Gledis
Chris
Matt Murray
Bob
Vinnie
Joe
Phil
Danielle!
Emo Ryan Martinello
Big Pete
Private First Class Matt Mele
My Parents (im a nerd lol)
my brothers and my sister
Mr Perry lol
Nathaniel
Jackie
Kim
Matt Civello
hmm if im missing anyone, im sorry. its alot of people to remember

so yeah, who doesnt like me again? cuz i mean, they must be really good at hiding it. especially since most of them go out of their way to talk to me and make sure me and sinead are ok. r u sure it was everyone? i guess ill have to trust you. o yeah, awesome night tonight. i hung out with CJ and sinead and shawn and gabe. bestseller's cafe, dunkin donuts, bridge, papa ginos, home. New and Most definately Improved Kickass Brigade. Yeap, im keeping my name. well, so long suckers. last day of school and then im free of all stupidity.
heres to an awesome summer with my awesome friends.
heres to beach rocking and frisbee
band practice and summer camp
parkour and parallel parking
and being really really rediculous awesome.

signing off, i am kyle
K.A.B. 4 lyf homes


p.s. Danielle, ur awesome.

6 so cross my heart

[20 Jun 2005|08:34pm]
you are all horrible people and you should be ashamed of yourselves. im sick of being your fucking punching bag. im sick of u all fucking hurting me and hurting her. keep your fucking comments to yourselves and deal with it. because as much as you hate us and make fun of us and tell us how fucking stupid we are, its not gonna change a goddamn thing and its only proving how fucking rediculuos you all are. so fuck you, im over it.
3 so cross my heart

Handguns and Second Chances [30 May 2005|06:00pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

way tooo blargh rite now so im gonna do a survey instead of other things

100 things you might or might not know about me..

1. Full name: kyle timothy elijah davis
2. Nick Names: hey you
3. Birthday: September 2, 1988
4. Place of birth: medford, MA
5. Zodiac Sign: Virgo
6. Male or Female: male


__Your...
13. Hair Length: muppetesque
14. Eye color: blue
15. Best Feature: shoulders?
16. Height: 6'6
17. Braces?: Nope.
18. Glasses?: emo
19. Piercing: ears
20. Tattoos: Nope.
21. Righty or Lefty: righty


___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: chris murray
23. First Award: spelling bee?
24. First Sport You Joined: basketball
25. First pet: cat, freddy
26. First Real Vacation: new hampshire
27. First Concert: rockapella
28. First Love: doesnt even matter


___ Favorites___

29. Movie: fight club, momento, ed wood
30. TV Show: nip/tick, Family Guy.
31. Color: red
32. Rocker: eddie van halen
33. Band: Saosin, a change of pace, letter kills, senses fail, weezer
34. Song Right now: Hollywood
35. Friend: chris, mb, cj, ash...,idk alot, im so damn popular
36. Candy: gobsoppers
37. Sport to Play: frisbee
38. Restaurant: chevy's
39. Favorite brand to wear: im a nudist
40. Store: khols
41. Favorite subject: english
42. Animal: tiger
43. Book: Breakfast of Champions
44. Magazine: guitar player
45. Shoes: rowley xl's


___ Right Now___

46. Feeling Right Now?: like my heart was just pissed on
47. Single or Taken?: taken
48. Have a crush: look above
49. Eating: my words
51. Typing: my goodbye
52. Online: yeap
53. Listening To: weezer
54. Thinking About: the worst image ive ever had in my head
55. Wanting To: kill someone
56. Watching: my anger rise
57. Wearing: my heart on my sleeve.


__________Future__________

58. Want Kids?: yes
59. Want to be Married?: yes
60. Careers in Mind: screenwriter, director
61. Where do you want to live: neverland
62. Car: whatever can get me out of here


__Which is Better With The Opposite/Same Sex *___

63. Hair color: idk, i guess i like strwberry blonde
64. Hair length: kinda long
65. Eye color: green or brown
66. Measurements: as long as they are soft and i can hug em
67. Cute or Sexy: cute
68. Lips or Eyes: eyes
69. Hugs or Kisses: hugs
70. Short or Tall: heh tall i wish but shorts ok
71. Easygoing or serious: easygoing
72. Romantic or Spontanious: both
74. Sensitive or Loud: Sensitive.
75. Hook-up or Relationship: relationships
76. Sweet or Caring: caring
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: Troublemaker



___Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger: yes
79. Had Alcohol: yes.
80. Smoked: yes
81. Ran Away From Home: Yes

82. Broken a bone: yeap
83. Got an X-ray: o yeah
84. Been with someone: yes
85. Broken Someone's Heart: yes
86. Broken Up With Someone: yes
87. Cried When Someone Died: Yes.
88. Cried At School: heh



___Do You Believe In_

89. God: yes
90. Miracles: no
91. Love At First sight: yes
92. Ghosts: no
93. Aliens: yes
94. Soul Mates: yes
95. Heaven: Yes.
96. Hell: yes
97. Angels: Yes.
98. Kissing on The First Date: it depends

cross my heart

should i be feeling bad? [15 May 2005|01:23pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

i dont think i should be. i tried, she tried, we both tried. she couldnt handle it. i think her saying that shes never gonna get over it is a really bad assumption but i understand how she feels. i guess understanding is all i can be right now though. to have so many things finally start going good for me and then have them all stop for this is just bull shit. i have to move on. sorry, but this isnt gonna bring me down. im too happy with myself and im too happy with sinead to be intimadated. im too happy to be depressed and i dont feel guilty or anything. right no, i feel good. i havent done anything wrong. theres no reason to be upset over the way u feel. so, im gonna let u do watever u need to do. ur awesome enough to be able to get through watever's in ur way. just take the time to think. think about u and sinead rolling around on her floor laughing at how stupid the whole situation was, think about u yelling how much u love her in the limo, think about everytime i held ur hand wen u were crying, think about everytime u did the same for me, every time u smiled cuz i flared my nostrils, every time i smiled wen u wrinkled ur nose, every crappy emo poem i ever wrote about u, every hug, every laugh, every tear, every scar, every moment, everything. think about it, and let it all melt away. i love u no matter what.

2 so cross my heart

AHHHH SURVEY [02 May 2005|08:47pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

+Known as: Kyle
+lives in: medford,MA
+ Birthday: 9-2-88
+ Hair color: blondebrownredblue
+ Eye color: blue

* section 2 - have you ever... *
+ Cheated on someone?:yes
+ Been Cheated on?: yes
+ Fallen off the bed?: yes
+ Broken someone's heart?: yes
+ Had a dream come true?:yes
+ Done something you regret?:yes
+ Cheated on a test?: yes

* section 3 - currently *
+ Listening to?: My Chemical Romance
+ Located?: Compy room
+ Chatting with?: ash, sinead, mb
+ Watching?: my hands type
+ Should REALLY be doing?: Bow fly paper

* section 4 - do you... *
+ Brush your teeth? yes
+ Have any piercings? ears
+ Drive?: kinda?
+ Drink? no
+ Smoke Cigs?: no
+ Smoke Reefer?: no

* section 5 - the last person you... *
+ Hugged?: Sinead
+ Kissed?: umm.....
+ IMed?: mb
+ Talked on the phone: sinead
+ Yelled at: my mom

* section 6 - personal *
+ What do you want to be when you grow up?: a screenwriter/ director
+ What has been the best day of your life?: Night of Noise
+ Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush?: yes.
+ What are you most scared of?: brocolli
+ Did you lose someone you really loved?: yes
+ How many times have you fallen in love?: .......so far? 1
+ Love your friends?: is there a stronger word than love?

* section 7 - favorite at the moment*
+ Movie: Chicago
+ Store: Khols
+ Relative: My brother chris
+ Sport: Urban Freeflow
+ Ice Cream Flavor: cookies and creme
+ Fruit: plums
+ Candy: Take 5
+ Day of the Week: friday
+ Name for a Girl: piper, Rileigh
+ Name for a Boy:Kyen

* section 8 - do you *
+ Like to give hugs?: yeah
+ Like to give kisses?: yes
+ Like to walk in the rain?: no
+ Like to travel?: yes
+ Have a goldfish?: no
+ Have stuffed animals?: I heart panda

*section 9 - what do you think about... *
+ Suicide: whats that?
+ Smoking: ewww
+ Eating disorders: ....o.0
+ Summer: YAY!!!!

* section 10 - this or that *
+ Pierced nose or tongue?: tongue
+MTV or BET?: mtv
+ 7th Heaven or Dawson's Creek?: 7th heaven
+ Sugar or salt?: sugar
+ Silver or gold?: silver
+ Chocolate or flowers: chocolate
+ Color or Black-and-white photos?: black and white
+ Stay up late or sleep in?: SLEEP
+ Hot or cold?: hot
+ Mustard or ketchup?: mustard
+ Wonder or amazement?: wonder
+ Mexican or Italian: italian
+ Candy or Soda?: soda
+ Pepsi or Coke?:coke

survey says....
last cigarette: ....
last kiss: umm today
last good cry: today
last movie seen: chicago
last cuss word uttered: fuck
last beverage drank: coke
last food consumed: pork
last crush: umm sinead
Last time showered: this morning
last shoes worn: dc's
last cd played: Hawthorne Heights
last annoyance: ap test
last disappointment: report card
last soda drank: coke
last thing written: coke
last words spoken: bye
last time amused: when i said goodbye to sinead
last time wanting to die: when i got home
last time in love: .....
last time hugged: about 2 hours ago
I LOVE: my vagina....i mean....
I HATE: math
I FEAR: rejection
I HOPE: for peace of mind
I FEEL: chipper
I HIDE: my emotions
I DRIVE: myself
I MISS: ohio
I LEARNED: that nothing turns out like u plan, but it can turn out for the best.

1 so cross my heart

I can see the headlights in the distance [21 Apr 2005|02:43pm]
well......what is there to say? everyone hates me now. its official, ive alienated all of my friends. last time i think for myself ill tell you that much. cried alot on tuesday, i threw up 4 times becuase of it. cried alot on wednsday, i pissed off my mo beciase of it. cried alot on thursday, i broke 3 plates and my amp because of it. i guess i was a shitty boyfriend. so yeah, everyone please get pissed off at me. i guess i deserve it. u know, it was so stupid of me to think i could possibly make a decision and not have people get pissed at me for it. but i guess them getting mad at me helps everything right? i mean, why else would they do it? its not like they're gonna be friendly to me or anything becuz we're friends. no, they wouldnt do that. yeah, im alone today. all by myself. perfect silence. theres broken glass all ove the floor, im not gonna clean it tho. there are broken friends all around me. how can i clean them? how can i put them back together? i cant hold my life together with glue and duct tape. maybe i need to move away. maybe like alaska. the suns always out and its quiet. maybe i need to suck it up and take a couple of hits. because to keep all of my friends, i would do anything. so this is a message to:
michelle
marybeth
cj
sinead
mike


just hit me with whatever anger you have and i will apologize. i will submit to you. i have no will power left. ill take every slap in the face every jab in the stomach every pinch, every bite, every single second of agony, if u think it will help us become better friends.

this is a message to ashley:
you are my best friend. nothing stands in the way of making sure that you are happy. noone stands in the way of making sure that we are still friends. no matter how bad things get, i need you in my life.

-kyle
4 so cross my heart

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